What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
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