I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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