Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
