My nipple is on Facebook.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
