Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
