dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
