Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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