And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
