im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
