she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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