Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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