this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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