Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize