so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
