my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
