Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
