Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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