dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swine flu is the new snow day.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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