I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
