Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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