I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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