ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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