you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize