No, drunk sperm still make babies.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I think people are normalizing furries
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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