Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
