It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
