You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
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Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
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What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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