i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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