there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
