god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
