I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
