Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
