BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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