Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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