Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i think i have two assholes
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
