you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
