Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
They are going to name an STD after you.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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