Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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