Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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