I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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