$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
