I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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