I'm lost and stupid without you.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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