Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
