I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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