so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
