you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
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the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
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I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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