remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
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Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
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Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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