Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
