just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
