I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
