"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
