my sisters under your porch take her home
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Congratulations! We have a period
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
