Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
