Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This is the high leading the old right now
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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