There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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