I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
