Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
