Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I know her cup size but not her name....
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