You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
