Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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