Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
