I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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