I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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