i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize