Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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